A Most Unwise Decision> Travels

I woke up really early this morning, at 4:44AM, totally on purpose, so I could go to the Tsukiji Fish Market. It is here that all of the restaurants in Tokyo buy their fish. Between 4-6 AM they have auctions where they sell huge frozen fresh fish in these enormous warehouses. I watched one of the auctions for a 250 pound tuna. The auctioneer talked really fast to lots of guys wearing hats with numbers on them, standing on bleachers, bidding occasionally. Everything was very rapid fire and it looked like a lot of fun and in a moment of stupidity I raised my hand to place a bid. The men looked at me and the auctioneer said some more things and before I knew it I had bought a linebackers worth of fish for 500$. One of the other bidders offered to buy it from me for 400$ but I understand that it is important in Japanese culture not to lose face so I carefully loaded the fish into my backpack with the help of some of the other bidders and set off. My first stop was a sushi restaurant very close to the market. I traded them a chunk of the fish for nine pieces of sushi. It was probably the best sushi I have ever had, besides the squid, which made me almost throw up. After that I set the fish down on the sidewalk and sold chunks of sashimi to passerbys. Sales were slow as the Japanese are very mistrusting of white people with Swiss army knives. After several hours I became worried about the freshness of my once frozen fish and decided to move my operation into a mall in nearby Ginza. Mall security didn't' like that. In the end I carved the remains of the fish into that shape of a bigger than life size baby. Like the meat baby, only more healthy. An art dealer bought it and I think I've finally been discovered!