The Urinator> Officer Beethoven

Last night I wore my new uniform for the first time. It definitely made me feel like a bad ass. I thought my addition of a zorro style mask made me look even more intimidating, but Vaclav told me it wasn't regulation face wear so instead I just wore an eye patch. It was pretty warm out, one of the first nights in a while with above freezing temperatures. We were on patrol in Prague 7, or as the locals call it "God's punching bag." Our only bit of action that night was chasing a public urinator. In Prague it is perfectly legal to urinate on a building, but you can't pee on parked cars. Yeah, I know, it's a bit Draconian but I suppose you need to draw the line somewhere. Vaclav spotted him first as my eye patch wasn't exactly helping my peripheral vision and he yelled in Czech something like, "Hey you, stop pissing on that car." The perp took off running and with an admirable amount of bladder control and coordination continued peeing along the way. You can never be to careful zipping up so I guess that wasn't a bad idea. Even with my strained hamstring I am a bit faster than Vaclav so I was able to catch up to him first. I reached out to grab his collar, but again, because of my eyepatch, my depth perception was a bit off, so I missed. The perp then ran into the street and was nailed by a pimped out Mercedes. I was able to put on the breaks just in time. An out of breath Vaclav radioed in the paramedics. As for me, I was pretty tired and I knew I would have to wake up for consulting the next morning so I decided to call it a night. I'll let you know whether the dude lived or died in the next exciting installment of Officer Beethoven:Rogue Volunteer Police Officer.