Take your Daily Constitutional >by the Pink Wizard, Esq.

I just read an article about the constitution. You know, the paper written on hemp about how black people get two-thirds of a vote? Anyway, the article discusses whether the constitution is living or dead. Is it like the Torah, which has been interpreted to mean that Jews can give their pets Bark-Mitzvahs? Or is it instead like the Koran, which is interpreted to mean that Muslims can use blueberry muffins for the purposes of [this phrase censored by Larry Beethoven]?

Being a law scholar with an emeritus degree from Yale (the school Big City Lawyer failed to get into, thus bringing shame to his family), I am of the opinion that the constitution is a dead document. Dead as a doornail. But who cares about my opinion? Deep down inside, I am just a pink wizard, nothing more, nothing less.

My main point is this: what if the constitution was originally written as a blog? How would that have changed the development of our great country? Would John Hancock have used a 24 point font? Would Thomas Jefferson have provided links to interracial porn sites? Would Gerge Washington have used a wooden mouse?