Code Purple Alert> Expated

The Czech Housing Bureau has wisely issued a status alert system to keep house guests abreast of rapidly changing conditions of the safety of walking barefoot on the floor of my apartment. From safest to most dangerous, it is as follows:

Lime Jell-O
Ordinary floor tials
Racquetball in Paraguay
Entering a burning building
Reduced fair tour to Iran for Danes
Newark

We are currently at Racquetball in Paraguay status after a vigorous sweeping from Reduced fair to Iran for Danes status.

Yeah, I am out of things to write about. Any Requests?