Big idea #6 (by the pink wizard, syndicated columnist)> Guest column
Aside from raising gas taxes and “framing,” I am suggesting another big idea so our great party can rule once more. We need to overturn Roe v. Wade. Gasp! I know, I know. Get your rosaries out of my ovaries. Just hear me out, commrades - it’s a means to an end.
You see, most clumps of cells that don't feel pain (notice I didn’t use the word “unborn baby” or "fetus" – I’m framing!) who are getting aborted would be democrats if they were ever born and lived to be voting age. Follow the pink wizard here: Most women who get abortions are pro-choice (duh) and many democratic areas (urban areas) have lots of abortions. So since most people vote the way their parents vote, and most women getting abortions are liberal (at least on social issues), we can safely assume that most of these aborted cell-clumps would have grown up to be democratic voters.
So lets say abortion had been illegal 25 years ago. In the last election, many more democrats would have voted in cities like Cleveland and Toledo where there are lots of abortions and lots of democrats. But because these prospective voters were aborted in the 1970s, they didn’t get born and they didn’t make it to the polls. Crud!
But there is hope: if we overturn Roe v Wade now, expect a democratic landslide in maybe 25-30 years!
posted by Anonymous @ 10:27 PM
5 comments
5 Comments:
Ladies and Gentleman, the pink wizard, the only Republican I know. that column, yikes. Have you read Steven Levitt's theory that the crime rate has gone down because of Roe V Wade? He thinks that a lot of those aborted babies would have grown up to become criminals given the good chance of them having a bad upbringing. The theory was recently debunked to some degree, but it is interesting nonetheless. It's in his book Freakonomics if you want to learn more.
the pink wizard tends to rehash the WSJ, otherwise known as the unofficial website of the republican party, which has long touted the "roe" effect.
Frankly, I have no idea if the numbers would add up. ie: if roe were overturned, how many pregnancies ending in abortion would simply not happen; how many states (particularly swing states) would actually ban abortion? these questions can't really be definitively answered.
but I will say that overturning Roe would be great for the Dems for another reason--because if Roe were overturned, then suddenly all the Republicans talking in code about "activist judges" would suddenly have to put up or shut up. They'd have to actually vote for legislation banning abortion--and risk alienating the 70-80% of americans who are pro-choice, or they'd have to abandon their promises (and their base) in order to appease the moderate middle.
For once it would be the Democrats proudly proclaiming what they believe, while the republicans snivel in embarrassment at what they really stood for.
Frankly--I really don't give a shit about abortion. If Roe were overturned maybe Mississippi and Utah would enact outright bans, but most states would at most regulate parental notification and really late-term abortions--the sort of issues that maybe affect a few hundred women each year. I'd gladly sacrifice those unfortunate young spinsters in order to have a sane economic and foreign policy.
hey anonymous,
you remind of a guy i know named zach. he's a nice guy, but his mom gets around like a record if you know what I'm saying.
pink wizard
you all suck. if you had any clue on the reality of life you would know that it all started with the atom, bomb that is.
harry truman sold suits before his becoming the 33rd president. remember, suits need coat hangars.
abortion has nothing to do with political men in suits, and the hangars they hang on.
remember high school? i side with betsy for class president or you side with tom. they both suck. jenn in the corner just doesn't have the self esteem to do open her mouth and show her true wisdom because she knows it isn't worth the hassle. as we speak, she's probably doing a surgery in the jungle giving abortions to natives while we learn about marry-jo rotten crotch and her back alley misfortune on prime time 20/20. meanwhile tom and betsy are still in politics and debating whether the "elephant or the ass" makes the best decisions.
"slow or stupid" "dumb and dumber" while someone off the political spotlight does the real work that matters. isn't it true with everything?
jenn probably won't vote and it wouldn't matter if she did. she'll just keep doing what she's doing and i'm sure the freakonomics book might tell you she doesn't exist at all as will the WSJ, unless there's a pharmaceudical angle during the Sunday spread.
anonymous had it right about ol miss and utah, but then again red neck votes don't count and religion isn't a part of government in utah. so where does that leave us?
democrats or republicans? everyone tries to establish their identity because they lack the internal self confidence to absolve from stereotypes. the heard needs to belong...
friends, it all comes down to who controls the coat hangars. truman knew. wade knew when to hang it up...and jenn, well she's just "scraping by" in some jungle...
I think Jake wins the pulitzer prize for blog comments.
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