On Obtaining Visas> Rant!!!

Today I went to a travel agent to get my Chinese and Russian visas. Usually I would take care of this myself, but the Russians require that you get two specific papers from a travel agency. One of these papers is a list of all the hotels you will stay at, which apparently is bullshit because I have no idea where I am staying. I guess it’s an easy way for their travel agencies to make 50 dollars and for the gov to make an extra 10 dollars taxing this "visa handling" fee. This is on top of the 100 dollars I have to pay for the Visa itself. In addition I have to have health insurance to enter the country, so I also had to pick up travel insurance for another 40 dollars.

Then I had to fill out the Visa application form which was wasn’t fun. Bad times. Bedsides the standard stuff you need to list two of your former employees, their addresses, phone numbers, supervisors, positions, dates of employment and reasons for termination. I also needed to list the schools I had intended. What really pissed me off was the part where I had to draw a fish, a clown and a factory worker. The fish was easy, but I have never been good at drawing people and I'm worried my app. will be rejected because at best they were glorified stick figures. The sudoku they threw in there could have been fun, but the agency was about to close and my travel agent was looking over my shoulder the whole time. I am no good with numbers when I am under pressure as my high school math grades can attest to.

The Chinese Visa was easy in comparison, the only tricky bit being you need to show proof of having an entry ticket to the country. I thought they would be more concerned about having an exit ticket, but whatever. The travel agency made me a reservation on a ferry from Japan to China, printed it out and then canceled it. Yeah, I'll be arrested at some point, but all of that will be good material for my next novel, China Doll, why must you betray me? : A Colonel America Adventure.

As I was grumbling about the pain in the ass that these visas were my agent reminded me that Czech citizens visiting to the states must submit to a rigorous SERIES of cavity exams. And I am not talking about their teeth. Yet another reason for the world to hate America, which happens to be the working title for one of my other upcoming novels.