What's on TV in Greece> Travels

I just got to Agios Nicholas on the Eastern side of Crete. Its a package tourist kind of former fishing village turned city, but because i am the only tourist on the Island of Crete (You think i am kidding right)it is lovely and peacefull this at the moment. On the Agean with great views of the mountains in the distance. Everything will be closed on the island tomorrow for Christmas so I checked into a pretty nice hotel with satellite TV to kill some time until Monday evening when I will catch a ferry to Santorini. I flipped through the channels and here is a rundown of what is playing on Greek TV.

1. Something involving a reindeer and ice skating.
2. A dating show, with the potential date shown in silhouette. It's a mystery. Sometimes they are hot, sometimes homely.
3. Desperate Housewives (with Greek subtitles)
4. Some guy holding a new pair of sneakers laughing. He is in a grocery store.
5. Lois and Clark: The Adventures of Superman
6. Ernest Saves Christmas (I shit you not)
7. A woman with a tremendous mole on her face. Good times!
8. A Greek Master Card commercial (Feta Cheese: 3 Euro. Bad smelling after shave: 7 euro. Closing everything in the country for the winter so LarryB feels like a sucker: Priceless)
9. Cock Fighting Quarterfinals, live from Dubai!