Cretans> Travels

Last night I took an overnight ferry to Crete. Luckily none of the other people sleeping with me in the hallway of the boat had night terrors. Crete was where the Minoans lanuched Europe's first advanced civilization in 2100 BC. For the past few thousand years the island has been the world's village biycle/local slut, having been ridden by just about everybody. The Myceneans came in and messed up the Minoans and probably had some orgies, which they invented. That's a guess. In 1100 BC the Dorians (of Doric Column fame!) arrived and finished off the Minoans. Then Crete dissolved into city states and pretty much missed out on the flourishing of art, science and philosophy that was going on in mainland Greece. Hence the word Cretans. (Ok, I made that up. The Cretins were idiots found in the Alps.) Then the Romans came in 67 BC, then the Byzatines in 395 AD, then the Venetians (Of Venetian Blind fame!) in 1210, then the Turks in 1669, then the British, French and Russians in 1898, then the Greeks (peacefully) in 1913, then the Nazis (not so peacefully) in 1941 and then back to the Greeks after the war. I am currently preparing a military junta, but I am finding the whole undertaking more difficult than originally expected.